I am A-lister

alternative heading - I spend 2 hours a day making and and reviewing lists.

I am a compulsive list maker. Lists of all kinds – everyday to-do, weekend to-do , grocery to-buy, monthly to-do, to-cook, home-improvement to-do, paperwork to-do, to-read, to-watch [like banged up abroad on nat geo], and also the to-not's – to-not eat, to-not waste, to-not buy, to-not browse [the time suckers at work – dailymail, fb] etcetera, etcetera.

I also like reading weird facts, so here goes... apparently most bloggers are habitual list makers. :D or is that the rest go unblogged?

I really function better when I make lists of all kinds. And there's no greater thrill than striking things off the list. So, in anticipation of that thrill, I get things done, I utilize time better, I spend money more wisely... let's just say I live better. And if FEMINA chooses to ask... Does it make me a better person? I guess it does. With lists I feel I am in control. So when my control issues are taken care of, I become someone better to hang out with. So, yeah lists make me a better person. :D

Making lists is my little indulgence, so just any paper or pen won't do . Nothing fancy here, but I like to use gel pens... in brilliant colours... turquoise blue, pinks or the grayish black. Ballpoint pens are no good. Paper needs to be un-ruled [does it imply I am unruly?] and soft on my pen and face. Yeah, I feel the paper against my face :), let's call it the face-it or the face-off, shall we? I am also into yellow paper, the not-old-but-look-vintage kind of paper, these only come ruled, and I am okay with that.

Clearly, the digital post-it in whatever version isn't an option. Because rubbing my face against the computer screen would be plain hideous.

“The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!”

i am in a phase, a reflective, introspection phase, can you tell? and after much thinking, i am certain, i’ve found what it takes to be happy, or let’s just say, to be less miserable. to be in control of one thing that you can always be in control of - oneself. trying not to take control or be affected by situations that depend on anyone else. short-term or long-term, stupid or smart self-interest is what we should aim for.
Calvin: I don’t understand it, Hobbes. The kids teased me when I wouldn’t play baseball. Then they yelled at me when I did play. Then the teacher called me a “quitter” when I stopped playing. Unless you’re a star you can’t please anyone.
Hobbes: In that case, why not just please yourself?

yes, why not just please ourselves?

nb - heavy words befitting a leap year? :)

A lovely word and life lessons

Nonchalance.
I adore this word. The way it sounds and its meaning. It makes the tongue work a little, but not much. No rolling nothing, ends with a little whisper. The word lets you be a little lazy, easy and tad snob, all at once. Wonderful no?

Nonchalance is the trait of remaining calm and seeming not to care; a casual lack of concern... wow, oh my god, isn't that lovely?
The word is arrogant but not rude, it's indifferent but never selfish. It cares, but not much. Yes, it cares, but not much. Just perfect. It's such a balanced word.

I have figured, the key to happiness is to be somewhat oblivious. To things, people and developments around us, things that don't exactly/directly concern us. It's mostly about minding your own business. I have discovered, being slightly indifferent, for the want of a less dramatic word, is liberating.

So, this is what I want to be. Nonchalant. I want to care, but not much.

How to triumph the SALE season, staying sane.

This has been, by far, my most successful SALE season yet. And I want you dear reader(s), to have as much success as I did. And for that you cannot come unready. My essential tips, my SALE Dos and Don'ts, are all you need. Of course, I could give you the whole lowdown on how to tackle a SALE, but my boss says no one reads copy, so find here the sparknotes version of the plan. You cannot improvise, and you are advised to pay attention to the stuff I mention within brackets. Shall we?

And before we get into the whole SALE thing, little something on SALE etiquettes -
Be polite at all times. With everyone. The staff is under immense pressure. When the salesgirl says, size 8 isn't available. Believe her.
Do a little bit calculation on your own before you head to the billing counter. With so many discounts, broken tags and hundreds of irate customers around, the poor chap might just get the total figure wrong. If you spot a mistake, again politely point that out.
Thing is don't be a bully. Not even if you discover your current size is tad tight.
Play nice.

Day 1 & Day 2 of the SALE. Go, no matter how busy you are, call in sick, fake a headache, whatever, just go. Yeah, yeah right... it's a month long SALE, still go. Pick your top 3 favorite outlets, that you frequent the most. And 3 stores you haven't been to in a while.

You don't buy anything on the first day. Nothing at all. You observe and absorb. Only that and a whole lot of that. You walk the aisles and the floors, more than once. Of course, the time spent on each floor depends on what gets you lusting... alright, so you do this until you are about to collapse. You might want to take a break here, a quick refuel at the in-store coffee place [do not step out, we don't want any distractions here.] Once re-fueled, repeat the observe and absorb part. This is when your list of 6 stores gets down to 3. The 3 stores that make it to your list, will be judged on -

• The discounts [knock off the stores that mostly offer a measly 10 per cent]
• The collection, does the store have what you wear? [nothing explains buying a fuchsia tights, not unless you are 7 or kate moss, and not even if its 70 per cent off]
• The size, does the store have the stuff you like in your size? Always buy your current size [size 4 isn't happening, not anytime soon, certainly not until the next SALE season]

You spend the next 3-4 days not in the malls but in the closet. [do not whine, you'd realize this is the most essential step]. You make a mental note of what you need.

You enter the buying phase, armed with the knowledge of what you need and where [the store, the floor, the shelf] to find it. [you'd argue, SALE was never about buying what you need, it's about splurging... WRONG, it's about what you need and never about what you might need.]

Now, onto buying, the easy part -
If you like something [like really, really, really like something], buy it, even if it's just 10 per cent discounted. [do not confuse it with the measly 10 per cent, I mentioned previously that's about the store selection, you are at one of listed stores, so can't go wrong here.]. Do not wait for it to be marked down any further. Your size will be gone. Buy what you really like, now.

If you are on the fence about something [the colour, the fit, the style or anything] do NOT buy it. [not even at 70 per cent off]. You are never going to use it or wear it. Do NOT buy it.

Buying jeans during the SALE season? I would rather steer clear. I am not sure whether it's just my thing, but jeans are better off being bought when you have all the trial rooms to yourself, it can never be a rush buy. Meaning, you can try 29 different jeans before finally buying one [now, I don't exactly try 29 jeans :-O]. I have bought marked down jeans thrice and now, I have no clue where they are.

Shoes, are another SALE buy that I am a little skeptical about. Sometimes it works, mostly it doesn't. The mad heaps of shoes that the stores put up is an absolute no-no.

However, this is a great time to buy a bag. But, just because you don't have to queue up outside the trial room, be careful, you may tend to go over board. Stick to one casual, one formal and one party. Okay, make it two casual, two formal and one party. But no more.

Buying books on discount has never worked for me, but, but those lovely pricey foreign magazines can be bought for almost nothing.

Miscellaneous stuff like – linen, kitchenware, curios etcetera – buy them, only if you like them and use them. A note about collecting curios – if you are like me and don't like the idea of turning your living room into a showroom/museum, be careful: These are dangerous times.

So you have shopped smart. Now, lie low. For the next ten days. Arrange your closets, again. Look around the house. Observe and absorb.

Then on the last week of the SALE. Venture again. Also, to the stores you hadn't shopped during your round 1 of shopping. Buy, only if you spot an absolute gem. Nothing else. You are done.

You may now smile giddily.

Renewing vows won't seal it, doing groceries will.

I spend the last weekend with my friend and her husband of two years. She has been inviting me to spend some time with her and also to get to know her husband better. As I landed in her city, the topic of love crossed my mind more than once, We would discuss love, and I'd get tips on how giving space is a horrible thing, how love requires work, sacrifice and being scarily honest. I knew it would be the weekend of love.
The moment I stepped inside their apartment , the first thing i notice was love. It was everywhere - in the air, on the refrigerator, in the closets, in the curios, on the walls, in their hearts and right above the wash basin. Touché. They are the most loved-up couple I've ever met. No, there was no queasy PDA, everything was cute, playful, romantic and often childlike. They pray every evening. Together. They do their groceries, holding hands. He leads her from one aisle to another with his hand gently around her waist. This is love alright. He likes the horror and the super natural, she likes the soap-sob stories. He likes his steak, she loves her soy. They have found their in-betweenness, holding hands. Even in a crowd, they are together, a couple in love. Even the guy who served us coffee could tell, and not because they were gazing into each others eyes. If this isn't love, what is?
Yesterday, on my way to the airport, we were discussing their plans for their second anniversary, which is just 2 days away. I told them, their kind of love deserved something regal, something that's not everyday. Something that you and I don't do. Something like renewing vows in exotic locales like Heidi Klum and Seal do... of course I was just trying to be funny. But if there's any couple I know, who could possibly do that, it would be this one.
This morning, dailymail.co.uk tells me Heidi Klum and Seal are separating, after 3 kids, 7 years and as many renewed vows later. Duh! yeah.
Dear Heidi and Seal... before you sigh those damned papers, may I urge you to go to the nearest Trader Joe's, pick some steak, tofu and strawberries, holding hands...

The importance of a sucker punch and why comfort is a bad, bad word.

You are in your sweet little cornucopia... hours, days and months go by, every bit the way you had imagined. You have more than just a vague idea of how the future will look like. Life is predictable, in a good way. And if you are a little lucky, you might just have a few surprises too on the way. Of course there are ups and downs. The ups and downs you have learnt to tread. It's your world after all. 'Lucky me', you gush, follow it with a knock on the wood, or sometimes you just give these rituals a miss. Saving them for those not-so-often celebratory moments of life. Your everyday life isn't nothing special. It's just normal. This is how it's meant to be. This is how it should be. You don't know any other way. You take your life and the people around you for granted, the way you think they have. You don't know better, or worse?... and then something hits you hard. A sucker punch. It'll take you a while to understand what just happened. And when you finally do, you realize, the world that you thought would thrive on its own, has in a way, ended. You look at yourself, closely. You put your every action, every habit, every moment under scrutiny. You start doubting the life you have lived, the choices you've made. You are left with questions, so many of them. You are begging for answers.
And then with time, you emerge from the wreck, not stronger, not wiser, not any less sadder but with a realization, that you've perhaps been a little too comfortable. Too oblivious to the world, that was changing. Comfort pushes you into an unreal world. It's the first step of being in denial. It also numbs you. Comfort makes you forget why you are here. It makes you confuse priorities and fight battles that are of no importance at all. Comfort is a bad word. Don't wish for comfort. It's not going to be pretty.
And as I write this, I realize, I'm dressed rather comfortably.
Tell me stilettos don't hurt.

Change before you have to

It's that time of the year, the time for wise words, introspection, new perspectives, prioritizing, re-prioritizing, etcetera, etcetera. Though I think I am not a quote-quote person, 'change before you have to', however, stayed with me, it made sense to me, to the postponer in me. Change I will. Before I have to.

About the photo here, isn't it really good? I am not sure why I like it, it could be the sun, the simpleness of the composition, the couple's effortless energy or the lady's tiny derrière. Everything is just so perfect yet simple, easy and happy. May that's what 2012 be... perfect, yet simple, easy and happy.