I suppose we'd better discuss this. Relationship 101 or not.

goa it is

So, the man and I celebrated ten years together [of having first met each other and deciding on being together]. And a ten-year anniversary calls for an epic something, and that’s what we attempted to do in a not so original way, by flying off to the beachside, reminiscing times good and bad over things Russian, Brazilian and a year’s supply of omega3 fatty acids. Five lovely days. I also, unbeknownst to the man, spent plenty time thinking about us [BUT OF COURSE], about happier and sadder couples [BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU DO ON AN ANNIVERSARY, NON?], about things that could have turned out differently; I was taking stock, with many, many notes-to-self, which I will now blog and record it for posterity. This is my 9^th edit. So here goes my RELATIONSHIP 101 or not. 

Nothing prepares you for this. Not Rachel McAdams. Not Shonda Rhimes.

Leap of faith. Whole lot of it.

Niceness is important and sometimes the lack there of. [Don’t ask]

Not taking the business of couple-dom seriously. [Yes seriously]

Being generous, being giving, etcetera. If not, tweak, tweak and tweak.    

Being 100 per cent honest and expecting 100 per cent honesty. Else, end-of-story right? And if it ain’t the end, make it the greatest beginning. One. Last. Beginning.

Indifference. Know when to be indifferent. [A game changer]

I will mind my own business. Repeat after me. I will mind my own business.

Love was born in a bright and shiny Hallmark store.

And ‘loving, caring and sharing’ was birthed at Miss Universe Inc.

You are the center of your universe. Quite like he is in his.

Yet you and him are a team. This is whole team business is incredibly hard, but totally worth it.

Everything is better with a little bit of air. So spending plenty time outdoors, together and solo.

Finally, a happy woman in love once said… nothing. [i wish it did, but this isn't going to work, not now, not ever].

And, and, and, if you seek drama, you will find drama.^TM  

We don’t want drama, non? 

A case of sense of humor and shapely legs

via http://iamblessed.tumblr.com

“oh he makes me laugh!” seriously? Is this why we women fall in love. Can it really be this simple, guiltless, beautiful and devoid of motives? Julia Roberts says it, so does my yet to be married friend about her colleague/fling/crush. Will a guy mind if he discovered his lady picked him for his body? Hasn't he worked so hard, for that very thing?
Is 'oh he has a great sense of humor' our way to euphemize our real motives? Sure, money plays a huge role too, but because that wouldn't let me post pictures of the above gentleman, I have steered clear of getting into that topic. Money doesn't make for a pretty picture, does it?

However, men are unapologetic about their selection procedure. I will of course not get into the nuances of their selection procedure, but the fact that they aren't bashful about it, is something we could learn from them.  

I will leave you with something to chew on, Scarlett Johanson left Ryan Reynold for no one particular, so perhaps that whole humor thing is not a sham after all?

Renewing vows won't seal it, doing groceries will.

I spend the last weekend with my friend and her husband of two years. She has been inviting me to spend some time with her and also to get to know her husband better. As I landed in her city, the topic of love crossed my mind more than once, We would discuss love, and I'd get tips on how giving space is a horrible thing, how love requires work, sacrifice and being scarily honest. I knew it would be the weekend of love.
The moment I stepped inside their apartment , the first thing i notice was love. It was everywhere - in the air, on the refrigerator, in the closets, in the curios, on the walls, in their hearts and right above the wash basin. Touché. They are the most loved-up couple I've ever met. No, there was no queasy PDA, everything was cute, playful, romantic and often childlike. They pray every evening. Together. They do their groceries, holding hands. He leads her from one aisle to another with his hand gently around her waist. This is love alright. He likes the horror and the super natural, she likes the soap-sob stories. He likes his steak, she loves her soy. They have found their in-betweenness, holding hands. Even in a crowd, they are together, a couple in love. Even the guy who served us coffee could tell, and not because they were gazing into each others eyes. If this isn't love, what is?
Yesterday, on my way to the airport, we were discussing their plans for their second anniversary, which is just 2 days away. I told them, their kind of love deserved something regal, something that's not everyday. Something that you and I don't do. Something like renewing vows in exotic locales like Heidi Klum and Seal do... of course I was just trying to be funny. But if there's any couple I know, who could possibly do that, it would be this one.
This morning, dailymail.co.uk tells me Heidi Klum and Seal are separating, after 3 kids, 7 years and as many renewed vows later. Duh! yeah.
Dear Heidi and Seal... before you sigh those damned papers, may I urge you to go to the nearest Trader Joe's, pick some steak, tofu and strawberries, holding hands...

A little less love

There are things we do for love and then there are things we do in the name of love. The latter sounds more real no? Something, people who wake up in the morning and drink tea do? Here I will refrain from what others do and talk about the things I do, in the name of love.

I like to fight. I like to be bitter. I like to be rude. I like to be irrational. I tend to be incoherent. I tend to be absurd. I become totally loathsome. I become over demanding. Yes, I do all of that. When you ask me why... all I say is because of love. Love makes me do all of that, can't you see?

No, it isn't an apology-through-blogpost to my man. It is a note to self... No love doesn't give you the license to be bad or crazy for that matter. If love is the trouble, then love a little less, if you may.

above is a quote from sex and the city

Poetry versus Prada

He was 21, she was 15. They had just become man and wife. He was away working in a city. She was with his family in village faraway going about her wifely duties. And those were the times when distance actually made the heart grow fonder. When poetries were written for the woman you loved. He wrote her a poem. It talked of gratitude, pride, longing and the love that he felt for her. It talked of how she was everything he had hoped she would be. It talked of how she was the perfect daughter-in-law to his parents and will be the perfect mother to their then unborn kids.
They were together for 66 years and had 9 kids.

She is 88 now and he is gone. But the memory of the poem written 73 years ago brings a smile to her now frail face. First she refused to recite it to us, said she was shy. And then when she did, she remembered every single word, and I could tell she read it just the way he had then. She paused in between the lines; I wondered what she might be thinking. Whatever it was, it was lovely, I am sure.


Have I ever had someone write poetry for me? No I did not. Neither did my friends or their friends. Because somehow a holiday in Prague or a boot from Prada made more sense.

Would I want to tradeoff my 3 promised gifts for 200 words of tenderness? I guess not.