I suppose we'd better discuss this. Relationship 101 or not.

goa it is

So, the man and I celebrated ten years together [of having first met each other and deciding on being together]. And a ten-year anniversary calls for an epic something, and that’s what we attempted to do in a not so original way, by flying off to the beachside, reminiscing times good and bad over things Russian, Brazilian and a year’s supply of omega3 fatty acids. Five lovely days. I also, unbeknownst to the man, spent plenty time thinking about us [BUT OF COURSE], about happier and sadder couples [BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU DO ON AN ANNIVERSARY, NON?], about things that could have turned out differently; I was taking stock, with many, many notes-to-self, which I will now blog and record it for posterity. This is my 9^th edit. So here goes my RELATIONSHIP 101 or not. 

Nothing prepares you for this. Not Rachel McAdams. Not Shonda Rhimes.

Leap of faith. Whole lot of it.

Niceness is important and sometimes the lack there of. [Don’t ask]

Not taking the business of couple-dom seriously. [Yes seriously]

Being generous, being giving, etcetera. If not, tweak, tweak and tweak.    

Being 100 per cent honest and expecting 100 per cent honesty. Else, end-of-story right? And if it ain’t the end, make it the greatest beginning. One. Last. Beginning.

Indifference. Know when to be indifferent. [A game changer]

I will mind my own business. Repeat after me. I will mind my own business.

Love was born in a bright and shiny Hallmark store.

And ‘loving, caring and sharing’ was birthed at Miss Universe Inc.

You are the center of your universe. Quite like he is in his.

Yet you and him are a team. This is whole team business is incredibly hard, but totally worth it.

Everything is better with a little bit of air. So spending plenty time outdoors, together and solo.

Finally, a happy woman in love once said… nothing. [i wish it did, but this isn't going to work, not now, not ever].

And, and, and, if you seek drama, you will find drama.^TM  

We don’t want drama, non? 

how to stay single when you are not single.

via pinterest

let me quickly run you through my last 72 hours [this is crucial to the story].
yesterday and today: i woke up, got ready for the gym right-away. without having to spend 30 minutes making tea and then drinking it. i don't need caffein before my workout. got a good workout. got home. had a shower. read the newspaper while relishing a long breakfast. spent time deciding on what to wear, wore what i wanted to and not the first thing i found in the closet. oh! i also had the time to consider wearing some eyeliner. so i got ready. left for work. escaped the traffic. on the way i was nicer to fellow commuters. the phone was comfortably inside the bag because i didn't have to frantically check the time every 27 seconds. reached work. on time. a not-so-hurried hello to the receptionist later i began my work.

via pinterest

today: woke up. went to a vegetable market that i have been wanting to. chatted up with the lady at the counter. clicked pictures of the capsicum. clicked a few selfies against the backdrop of capsicums. and laukis. cleaned up the closets that were top on my to do list since we moved in to this house. chose to go to a salon 6.5km away. just because. spent 6 hours on pinterest. bookmarked some DIY projects. made plans to meet a friend's friend. etcetera.

point is i had time. a whole lot of time.

so what did i do differently?

the man and i fought fought a couple of days back. which meant no conversations - and which meant not having to be a good roommate - want some tea? let me make you some tea. wait i will get the jar of biscuits too. what do you want for breakfast? yeah, i could wait for you to finish showering, i could wait for you to finish that last chapter of the book. while i get late for work. where are the keys? no i really don't know where the socks are. oh, sure you can have another cup of tea. 

so, in our happier days, the man and i often discuss how singles have so much time. time to pursue hobbies they like and also the ones they don't. time for friends, colleagues, and yeah strangers-turned-friends. they just have so much time. so. much. time.

nb. so we patched up a couple of hours ago. we are talking. laughing even. and i couldn't make it the organic green patch sale that i had planned to.