Friday, December 3, 2010

Coulda - Woulda – Shoulda

My friend, let's call her B, works in New York. She lives in a beautiful house in New Jersey with her husband and her 4 year old daughter. So, B manges her home, her kid, her job, and also did her CFA first level, and is now preparing for the next level. That's not all, she also learnt to swim, and now plans to go for ice skating classes. Yes having an extremely helping husband and an unfussy kid help of course. But isn't she incredible?

Last week, I met her on her annual vacation to India, she was visiting her parents and her in laws. My holidays with my parents and in-laws revolve around relaxation, and not much else. Not B's. Her free time was spent doing things and getting things done. And make no mistake, I am not talking about lame little things like shopping and visit to the spa [which figured too]. I am talking about heavy duty stuff, stuff like investments, properties, learning new things, etcetera. She learnt to drive, met up with as many friends and relatives as she could and most importantly invested in a land, a land that would be prime property, 10 years from now. B bought this land in a town, where she plans to settle after she and her husband retire. So, if this isn't smart, then what is?

Why I don't have any retirement plan or why am I not investing in lands in promising little towns, is beyond her understanding. She just doesn't get it. She often advised me, on properties, money, savings, and topics as drab. But has now, given up on me. Fittingly so.

I call her a super woman.
But she says being a part of New York's working population does it. The city's energy does it.
And I now agree, after having recently read about New Yorkers' obsession in a blog, about doing things and getting results. There's an old New York expression, summed up by a cartoon in New Yorker.
A patient is lying on the psychiatrist’s couch. He’s obviously just finished unburdening himself to the psychiatrist.
Divulging his deepest, darkest secrets, his fears, his regrets, his missed opportunities, his thwarted intentions, his unfulfilled expectations. The psychiatrist simply looks up and uses an old New York expression.

He says “Yeah, yeah, yeah: “Coulda - Woulda – Shoulda”.”


  1. I can relate to this post. Don't know if there is anything super about B though. You come to visit India from US with the hopes you can walk down the memory lane but you are asked to run, run as fast as you can so that you don't miss anything. Then the memories and legs both starts to hurt.

  2. B is inspiring - thats the speed at which we need to run

  3. Undoubtedly B is inspiring but the big question is that whether B can inspire us enough. Can she? Hmmm... food for thought

  4. @ Truly Yours:

    I am a new yorker too. I would like to add few suggestions which i got to hear from my firm's CEO -
    1. Plan or spent every moment on small things you feel will bring a positive difference in your life and peaple around you.(as simple as keeping the dust bin at the right location, opening the windows in the morning and as complex as making a mission critical suggestion in ur project)
    2. If you thing some things you work on or pl around you work on is seriously not so right - react.
    3. Don't put up with your routine..there is always something new each day to do, to feel and to realize. Ask yourself what did i do today that changed so & so..

  5. @ Truly yours, anonymous, yeah the idea is to keep moving, do something that will change my everyday for better of course.
    not to belittle the power of mundane, but yeah change is what drives us.

  6. STaying in India...I can relate to B too...a husband, 25 year old daughter, frenz,relative...etc,etc....